Halloween and Such
This Halloween was unlike any other Halloween or day, it was "one of those days" you know those days that you feel like you got the D- mother award. The events of this Halloween started on October 31st at 3:00am when I was woken up by my little girl crying. I rushed into her room to find her sitting up in bed crying and calling "mommy, mommy!" As I picked her up I could feel her hot skin touch mine and I knew she was sick. When I took her temperature I found it to be 39.4 C so I dosed her up when anti febrile medications and took her to bed with me and needless to say I didn't get much sleep. Then as morning came her temperature was still 39.4 and after more medications, Popsicles, a temped bath and watching her favourite movie "Happy Feet" finally her temperature broke!!! Which I was very grateful for because even though she was very sick she kept asking me when do we go trick or treat!! Meanwhile while this was happening her little brother was sick as well, he didn't have a temperature but he was coughing and he just wanted mom and every time I would set him down he would cry. And even still today they remain unwell and they are both calling for my undivided attention. Days like these are the real test of motherhood, because who do you choose and what do you do first? I pride myself on being the queen of prioritizing, I can prioritize anything, anywhere without much thought and I am able to efficiently and effectively get the job done, except with my children. How do you decide who needs you more, you have two little people wanting you at the same time so you are jumping back and forth between them trying to meet their needs and you feel like you are spinning out of control and you want to shout stop!!! Then at the end of the day you fall into a crumpled tired ball feeling like you were neither a good mom or a good caregiver and you feel as though you just didn't do enough and you pray tomorrow they will be feeling well again. Yes this is a motherhood test it happens to us all and I am certain we all feel the same way. We try our best never actually feeling like we are doing our best but our kids are happy and well taken care of, never knowing just how insecure we are. At the end of the day instead of beating ourselves up we just need to relax and say we did our best even if the day was a crazy whirl wind and we aren't quite sure what we did but we do know we made our kids feel better and that is worth putting up our feet up, having a glass of wine and saying today we might not have gotten the A+ mother award but we did a fine job!!! In the end on Halloween my kids were well enough to get dress up, they both were in very cute giraffe costumes and they did a little trick or treating. We also had a lovely supper at my sisters house and all in all the day wasn't so bad and I think everyone was happy and I was grateful that the kids got to enjoy Halloween. And right now my kids are sleeping, so my feet are up and I thought I would pass on some encouraging advice to all the mothers out there today who feel they are being pulled in 100 different directions and never feel they measure up. You are a good mom and tonight have soak in the tub and tell yourself you did your best and today will pass by like all other days and tomorrow the sun will come up followed by laughter and smiles and little voices saying " I love you mom" and that's what makes it all worthwhile!!!
