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The Joy of Living

A few days ago I was looking through old photo albums of my wonderful kids and I was overtaken by sadness at the lost of time. So much time has passed these beautiful children have grown from babies to children and I pondered where had the time gone. It has seemed in a blink of an eye that time has disappeared; forever gone. I wondered to myself did I really appreciate the time or was I always looking ahead never really present in the moment, never enjoy the time, never fully absorbing the moments of life. That is when I had a mini epiphany, realizing that I have spent so much time rushing through life I have not been enjoying it. I know I feel happy and blessed with all I have. I look at my wonderful husband and beautiful children and I know in my heart that I have all I need, but although I am incredibly happy I rush through life never savoring the moments, never soaking up the little thing. Life has been a whirlwind rushing past me leaving me spinning. Just then my husband came through door from the library and with a smiling face and sparkling blue eyes ever so pleased with himself and presented me with the book
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin http://www.happiness-project.com/. As I begun to read the book curled up with my fleece blanket another wonderful gift from my husband I filled with warmth and happiness and I realized this was the answer to my epiphany. So I decided to create my own project called The Joy of Living, I have changed the name of my project mostly due to the fact I feel incredibly happy most days but I don`t feel that I am enjoy living. Happiness is defined as a range of emotion from contentment to intense joy, I want intense joy. I believe there is so much more out of life I can get, I want to super-size life. Therefore the joy of living is going to be my project where I slow down and appreciate everyday moments causing a ripple effect turning my incredible happiness into intense joy!

The starting point for me is going to be the list of the Secrets of adulthood in the book The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin list is:
  • The best reading is re-reading.

  • Outer order contributes to inner calm.
  • The opposite of a great truth is also true.
  • You manage what you measure.
  • By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
  • People don’t notice your mistakes and flaws as much as you think.
  • It’s nice to have plenty of money.
  • Most decisions don’t require extensive research.
  • Try not to let yourself get too hungry.
  • Even if you think they’re fake, it’s nice to celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
  • If you can’t find something, clean up.
  • The days are long, but the years are short.
  • Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
  • Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
  • It’s okay to ask for help.
  • You can choose what you do; you can’t choose what you LIKE to do.
  • Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy.
  • What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
  • You don’t have to be good at everything.
  • Soap and water removes most stains.
  • It’s important to be nice to EVERYONE.
  • You know as much as most people.
  • Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
  • Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
  • What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you–and vice versa.
  • People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
  • Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
  • If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.
  • No deposit, no return.
    • My secrets of adulthood are:
    • If your take your time you are much more likely to succeed
    • Always eat when you are hungry
    • Sleep when you are tired
    • You do not have to own everything you like
    • Clutter in your house leads to clutter in life
    • Do not google medical issues, it will not make you feel better
    • Laugh daily
    • People do not notice you as much as you think
    • Outer beauty is a lot of work
    • Magazines do not show real people
    • Nagging is like glass in your mouth
    • If your kids act in certain way that you do not like, look at yourself you most likely do the same thing
    • nurture is stronger than nature
    • Do not over schedule time off
    • Act like a child often
    • Humor is a good way to feel better
    • Being positive makes you happier
    • Read the Bible
    This list of mine is going to be the foundation for my project. My goal of this project is to live a life of peace, simplicity, passion, laughter and fun, and reconnect with friends and family. The topics I plan to address in order to reach this goal are: purposeful passion, learning to play again, making time for friends, paying attention, enjoying the unpleasant, being serene and serendipitous, money and happiness, and patiently relaxing. 


    So far the lessons I have learned with the start of my project is to avoid frustration stop multi-tasking. Doing too much at once creates stress and then causes frustration which turns a calm, happy me into a mean mama and nobody likes a mean mama. 




    Next lesson I have learned is cleaning things that aren't dirty is a special kind of crazy. This lesson occurred to me while mopping the floor and I realized that I do not know the Queen so she most likely is not stopping by for tea (I know it`s shocking), I do not need a pristine house, nobody cares what my home looks like. Organized and tidy creates a relaxed environment, pristine is not necessary. 

    Your Not Listening!

    “A little girl came home from school with a drawing she’d made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.


    “Mom, guess what?’ she squealed, waving the drawing.

    “Her mother never looked up.

    “What?’ she said tending to the pots.

    “‘Guess what?’ the child repeated, waving the drawing.

    “’What?’ the mother said, tending to the plates.

    “‘Mom you are not listening.’

    “‘Sweetie, yes I am.’

    “‘Mom, ‘the child said, ‘you’re not listening with your eyes.’ “

    This passage is taken from the novel have a little faith by Mitch Albom, while I was reading this I realized this child’s words are so simple but so true. How many times in your life have you been so preoccupied with whatever your doing whether it was taking care of your children or rushing to get to work or simply shopping that you have missed a whole world around you, because you weren’t listening with your eyes. Only giving one sense like hearing to a person results in missing out on important information like the happiness on our child’s face when they reveal a masterpiece to you made be their own hands, or the pain in the strangers face when they respond to your generic question of “How are you?” Answer “Fine.” But in fact they are in desperate need of compassion. Maybe you missed the exhaustion in your husband’s face after a long day at work when you are nagging him about all the things he hasn’t done. I wonder how many times in life we have praised ourselves on being such devote listeners but in fact we were only listening with our ears and not our eyes. There is a whole world of people out there some close to us and some strangers but aren’t all these people worthy of your full attention when they are talking to you. God did not give us multiple senses that we can use simultaneously if he did not want us using them. When listen incompletely we don’t get the whole story and God places certain individuals in our lives for a reason, we are bound by conscience to do good by these people. We need to open our eyes and observe the world. take in the colors, catch sight of the happiness, notice the grief and destruction. We may not be able to repair everything around us but we can pay attention and show understanding or give encouragement or merely share in the joy of a job well done. Are we too busy to give others around us our consideration? And if we are that busy then we need to slow our lives down. Life is not a race to get everything done but in fact a slow meaningful journey that affects everything and everyone around us. And do you want that affect to be ignorance or thoughtfulness? Time is a wheel in constant motion always going forward never going back. Do want time to pass you by and never see anything around you? Is dishes and laundry more important than the smile on your child’s face? I believe if people stopped and took a breath and saw what was around them the world would be better place. We may hear everything is fine but by looking we would see that things are not good and at times just giving people comforting words when we see they are suffering helps to brighten their day. And sometimes by sharing in a child enthusiasm encourages them to continue their passions. We need to thank the worn out cashier for being so attentive. Tell the janitor that you appreciate what he does. Give you husband a hug and thank him for providing. Be amazed and the scribbles on a pieces of paper. By using our ears and our eyes enables us to be better people and do better by others. How many times has miscommunication happened because what we heard does not give us the entire picture? Starting today put down the dish cloth and open your eyes because you are missing out on a little thing called life!
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